It’s easy to recall the worst thing you’ve ever done

For most of us, recalling the worst thing we have ever done is easy. Why is it so difficult to think of the best thing we have ever done for someone?

Does it help?

Does that type of criticism, by judging ourselves for our worst mistakes, make us better?

Well, does a writer who reads all their one-star reviews become a better writer after they’ve read all of them? Of course not.

So why do we judge ourselves this way? Why do we judge ourselves (and worst others) for the worst things we (they) have ever done?

Feeling guilty for making the wrong choice can motivate us to do better next time. “I failed, and next time I’ll do better.”

Shame, on the other hand, does nothing but subvert us from being the person we were born to be. It subverts us from doing our best work, trying things that might fail, and doing work that matters.

Shame says, “I am a failure.”

Instead of focusing on our shortcomings, we need to emphasize work that improves someone’s life and use that as fuel for the next project.

If we do that, we can create a cycle of failures that teach us for the better.

The one who fails the most wins.