Promises > Threats

A promise communicates that you can trust me to follow through with whatever I am saying I will do. On the other hand, a threat is another promise, except there is a key difference with an implied form of violence. Where trust is diminished, we resort to threats.

Too often, we resort to using threats in the most important relationships. There isn’t much room for trust to grow when the relationship is in question. On top of that, it is difficult to walk away from some relationships. The relationship with a spouse, children, parents, and siblings differs from a bad boss and a dead-end job.

We further fracture and diminish what we imply in a threat when the other party understands and sees the track record. There’s a reason why we say an empty threat versus an empty promise. If one promise fails, you can make another. And yes, a series of failed promises can have consequences after a while. We can leave a hole. But not at the severity of empty threats where we actively tear down what trust is left.

All bark and no bite–empty threats are not a form of power. Ultimately, it is a symptom of a failing relationship. Instead of threatening, we can at least commit to promise to try again.